The hell’s she still doin’ there? I shifted carefully in my place so as not to startle Beth, who peacefully slept besides me with her head on my shoulder. I looked at the motorcycle up front and couldn’t help but to scoff in disgust. Plenty o’ room in the other truck. I felt some anger built up in me, which was directed at Carol; somehow I blamed her for what happened to Andrea. But I didn’t know if that’d be the only thing I held a grudge on her for.
I huddled at the back of the bed with my bag and had my weapons at the ready in case walkers got too close. After some hours of driving in a straight line, the sky had gotten slightly brighter. I looked over my shoulder and realized the driver was T-Dog. At that I let out a breath I didn’t know I held. I turned to the other side and managed to see Lori hugging a blond girl. Beth. I looked away from them and instead stared at the road we traveled on. Horrid flashes of Jimmy’s death would now haunt me every time I’d see Beth. I couldn’t keep myself from feeling like a failure because I’ve let down yet another person. I raised my wounded arm and flinched due to the pain. Come on wuss. This ain’ nothin’ like what Jimmy or yer family felt. Don’ be pathetic. I couldn’t keep myself from being so harsh on me either. I untied the cloths and studied the cut. It was pretty deep. The bleeding had stopped but I ran the risk of getting an infection due to the state it was in. I grabbed my bag and opened the middle pocket. I pulled out some pills, some rubbing alcohol, cotton and a small colorless glue pommel. I swallowed a couple of antibiotics and put the rest of the pills away. I cleaned the wound with the alcohol and bit my lip. It burned. I did the same thing until it stopped burning. “Ok. Now it gets hard.” It actually took me more time than I’d be proud of to find a way of gluing my skin back together without leaving any gaps. Blame it on the lack of sleep. It’s frustrating.I pressed my injured arm on my thigh and squeezed it down with my upper arm to close the cut while I applied the glue over the wound with my other hand. I stood in that position until the sky was blue again.
I looked around to check on everyone inside the house. I caught Maggie wrap her arms around her father, besides them Beth hugged Patricia as Jimmy placed a hand on her shoulder. I looked to the other side, Lori, Carol and Andrea were stuck staring at what could be seen through the windows. I turned around missing two people. I found T-Dog took a seat in one of the couches as he munched some bread. “Hey,” I shot one last glance at the window and tapped the doorframe I laid on twice then made my way towards T-Dog. “Gimme sum. Haven’ eaten all day…”
Since the apocalypse begun, the one habit I had never let go of was washing my hands. People used to chastise me about my comments of feeling my hands dirty all the time. So every time I was near a water source, even if it was with rain itself, I would wash my hands. Rub them hard with a towel or sponge or even with sand. But it seemed that no matter how many times I did, my mother’s blood would never rub off.
I closed my eyes and squeezed the hard to urge the memories away. I opened them wildly and shook my head to keep myself from reliving the horror once again. I froze at the sight. The green land ahead was gone; there were no trees, no wells, and no barn. Nothing. The farm was gone.
I was now staring at the deserted streets of my neighborhood.
I’m going back to a time when we owned this town…
“Bitch kicked me right on the bone. Docs said they were surprised there was not fracture or whatever…” I wiped the sweat off my forehead with my sleeve. I looked at Shane and let out a chuckle at his awed face. “Anyways, they tol’ me ta put sum ice on it–”
“But ya didn’…” he scoffed.
“But I didn’…” I raised my brows. “So, after sum weeks or so I felt a lil’… ball,” I made a circle with my fingers. “Common sense tol’ me it was a hematoma bu’ my mom wan’ed me ta go ta the doc and shi’. So yeah… Hematoma.” We exchanged more war stories then continued the task in silence. I raised my head and looked around camp. I found Carl wandering around alone, as usual. I noticed he was walking towards us so I purposely headed to the pile of woods farther away from the truck. I caught Shane shoot me a confused look and I rolled my eyes at the approaching kid.
From the corner of my eyes I spied on them. I barely caught some words, and then the boy walked away. I frowned and cocked my head to the side. I raised a brow at Shane and he shook his head lightly. I shrugged and tilted my head at the kid’s retreating back all the while Shane and I looked at each other. He caught the hint and called the boy back, I walked some few feet away from them to give the boy more confidence. I grabbed some woods and piled them on one side to take them to the truck once they were done talking. Things would get harder for me if we moved into the house. It would be harder to sneak out my bandages from my bag without being suspicious. More now that Daryl would sleep a few feet away. No privacy.
“Thank you, thank you…” Lori wouldn’t stop. She tried hard to cover her smile at the sight of warm clothes.
“We really appreciate it Matt, thank you very much.” Rick courtly added as he piled the clothes for Jimmy.
“Fits perfectly man, thank you!” I rolled my eyes and looked at T-Dog. He had put the new pullover on. I gave a reassuring nod at him and stood up.
“Matt…” I heard Dale’s voice. I turned around to look for him. “Can I speak with you?” he said as he approached. I gave him a slightly annoyed nod and walked a few feet away from camp.
“What d’ya wanna talk ‘bout, Dale?” I drawled. I knew he meant Randall, I had seen his rant on Rick this morning. It annoyed me how stubborn this man was how he just couldn’t see what it all had come to.
I half turned to face Rick; he was stuck in his place. “’m pretty sure we’d told ya sumthin’ like this back in the city remember?” Rick lowered his head. “Good will’s worth nothin’, the honest are long gone.” I bit my lip and waited for him to react. I watched as his chest raised and lowered twice before he looked back up.
Rick shifted in his place and rested his hands in his waists. “But I can’t just put ‘im down,” he reasoned. “He’s a kid, a teenager.” His fingers rose and squeezed the bridge of his nose.
“He’s danger, Rick,” I pointed out bluntly. “Ye can’ keep ‘im here and hope he won’ run away. ‘n’ lettin’ ‘im go…” I shot a quick glance at camp and then at Rick. “Well ya best pray he don’ find us back.” I shrugged and walked away from him, and from the shed, towards camp. I stopped midway and fully turned at Rick, I caught him staring at my retreating back. He raised his eyes and met mine. “Sorry, bu’ I can’t back ya up on this one.” I gave him a sad nod and continued my walk.
“The truth.” Daryl demanded.
Not once I was given the chance to explain the reason of my appearance. Things always went downhill the second people knew who I am, what I am. It was the very reason I never stayed in a group for long. I had bitter and still plainly vivid memories of each time the truth had come to light. This situation right now couldn’t be any different. Daryl clearly had his suspicions, he had seen what no one else in this group or others did. He asked about it.
“I gave ‘im all he needed,” I honestly replied. Damn well I know what to tell and wha’ not to. I wouldn’t lie, but wouldn’t give out the full story. Just what he needed to hear, “He didn’ need me… ‘n you know tha’” I half smiled.
“Why join us?” he shrugged and put the bowl next to his feet.
I watched Dale head to the house and turned to face Daryl’s camp ahead. I lingered until my stomach felt like being stabbed continuously due to the emptiness inside. I walked to my tent and grabbed my backpack; I pulled out two packs of instant noodles from one of the pockets and walked to the center of our camp to boil some water. Figured I could do so at Daryl’s fire pit but I was in no mood, nor health condition, to poke the bear.
I sat down on a fallen log and started a small fire in the usual spot, gathered some more twigs for it to last a bit longer. I grabbed a pot nearby and poured water in it from the jerry can I kept in my tent. I stared at the water heating, almost at boiling point. I grabbed one the packs when frantic yells coming from the house caught my attention. I looked at the noodle packs in my hand and instinctively threw them back inside my tent.
I took a deep breath and waited for them to reach me, “The hell happened?” I tucked my hands in my pockets and asked to no one in particular.
“Lori!” Shane yelled and walked away from us.
I’m fucked. Can’t pass out. Come on, Kat, come on.
“You’re burning, Matt.” Shane said as he got up and sat next to me on the other side of the truck. He put his hand on my forehead as the world around me span nonstop. I shoved his hand away and grunted. “Hey, T-Dog, man,” he bumped the bed’s side and T-Dog adjusted the rearview mirror to get a better view of Shane. “Speed up. Need to get to the house now. Guy’s fuckin’ burnin’”
“Don’ need no doc,” I growled. I breathed in and out heavily, almost panting. “I’m fine!”
T-Dog sped up, the road was in no condition to do so, so every bump made Shane and I jump from our seats.
“Here!” Andrea loudly exclaimed holding a canteen out the window. Shane stood up and grabbed it, then passed it on to me. I looked away from it so he grabbed me by my nape and forced the liquid into my mouth. The liquid felt strange in my system, it wasn’t helping, and the water made me feel more nauseous. I took one last long sip and pushed it away.
I felt weak, in the verge of passing out for good; my head was about to blow up. Being under the sun the entire day may have taken a toll on me.
“Hey, hey, hey,” the distant voice of Shane made my eyes open wide again. My vision was a blur, the blackness around was getting bigger every time making it hard to focus on his face. “Hang on bud, we’re almost there.”
“Sorry…” was all I managed to say as the blackness toke over me completely. I felt my limp body on a free fall then being caught by strong arms. Crap. He’s touchin’ it, he’s touchin’ it. Fuck, Kat. Wake up damn it!
